The Mongoland Cult Diet


Dolly Parton
Dolly Parton

"The path is narrow. Stay on it !"




Mike Tyson
Mike Tyson

"Don't eat a bunch of crap !"




Bonnie Raitt
Bonnie Raitt

"Pay attention to Step 38 !"




Clint Eastwood
Clint Eastwood

"Don't quit. Make my day !"




77 steps to a better life



Step 50. Don't purchase or eat caviar.
This step includes all previous steps except the movie steps. After successfully completing Step 50 for 24 hours, proceed to Step 51 the next day. If you fail on any step, start over the next day on Step 01.
caviar

caviar

caviar



Step 51. Don't purchase or eat abalone. Never touch a dead abalone.
This step includes all previous steps except the movie steps. After successfully completing Step 51 for 24 hours, proceed to Step 52 the next day. If you fail on any step, start over the next day on Step 01.
caviar

caviar



Step 52. Eat fries and/or onions rings once per week or less.
French fries and onion rings are awesome, but never eat them more than once per week. A week starts on Sunday, and ends on Saturday. This step includes all previous steps except the movie steps. After successfully completing Step 52 for a week, proceed to Step 53 the next day. If you fail on any step, start over the next day on Step 01.
fries

onion rings



Step 53. Don't purchase, touch, harvest or eat truffles.
Chocolate truffles are okay; fungi truffles are not. This step includes all previous steps except the movie steps. After successfully completing Step 53 for 24 hours, proceed to Step 54 the next day. If you fail on any step, start over the next day on Step 01.
truffles

truffles



Step 54. Don't purchase or eat kangaroo.
This step includes all previous steps except the movie steps. After successfully completing Step 54 for 24 hours, proceed to Step 55 the next day. If you fail on any step, start over the next day on Step 01.
kangaroo

kangaroo steaks



Step 55. Eat or drink ginger every day.
If you miss a day, you'll have to start this diet over from the beginning. This step includes all previous steps except the movie steps. After successfully completing Step 55 for 24 hours, proceed to Step 56 the next day. If you fail on any step, start over the next day on Step 01.
ginger

ginger root

ginger snaps

ginger ale

ginger capsules



Step 56. Watch Angel Heart.
When you reach this step you must watch the movie regardless of how many times you have seen it before. Alan Parker's mystery horror hybrid movie, Angel Heart (1987), starring Mickey Rourke and Robert De Niro, fared poorly at the box office, only just breaking even. Despite this, the film became a hit once released on VHS, and has become something of a cult classic ever since. Known for its spooky tone, excellent cinematography (by Michael Seresin), a sad and spooky score (by Trevor Jones), and an unusual but effective blend of genres, it attracted controversy due to a very graphic sex scene and should not be watched by children. Keep practicing the previous steps until you are able to watch it. This step includes all previous steps except the other movie steps. After successfully completing this Step, proceed to Step 57 the next day. If you fail on any step, start over the next day on Step 01 and when you get to Step 56 you will have to watch the movie again.



Step 01 - Step 07

Step 08 - Step 14

Step 15 - Step 21

Step 22 - Step 28

Step 29 - Step 35

Step 36 - Step 42

Step 43 - Step 49

Step 57 - Step 63

Step 64 - Step 70

Step 71 - Step 77


ask mongo
mongo
Dear Mongo: I accidentally ate bacon, cuz it was served with my spinach salad at Lord Bennetts. Do I have to start over on Step 01 ?
Mongo: Yes.



Dear Mongo: I love the curly fries at Bandon Bait & Tackle, and I love the onion rings at Dairy Queen. I guess I'll just eat at each place once a week, alternating weeks. Is that okay ?
Mongo: Yes. That's exactly what I do.



Dear Mongo: I love to eat those chocolate truffles in a box of See's candy. Is that okay? Is there a limit?
Mongo: Eating See's candy is wonderful, and this diet has no limit. Use your discretion and common sense.





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