The Mongoland Cult Diet


boy george
Boy George

"Don't be a quitter. Stay on track !"




morgan freeman
Morgan Freeman

"You are what you eat !"




agent dunham
Agent Dunham

"One step at a time !"




charles bronson
Charles Bronson

"Pay attention to Step 06 !"




77 steps to a better life



Step 22. Don't wear deodorant / antiperspirant that contains aluminum.
This step includes all previous steps except the movie steps. After successfully completing Step 22 for 24 hours, proceed to Step 23 the next day. If you fail on any step, start over the next day on Step 01.
deodorant




Step 23. Don't buy or eat calamari. Never touch a dead squid.
This step includes all previous steps except the movie steps. After successfully completing Step 23 for 24 hours, proceed to Step 24 the next day. If you fail on any step, start over the next day on Step 01.
calamari

dead squid



Step 24. Take one low dose aspirin every day.
This step includes all previous steps except the movie steps. After successfully completing Step 24 for 24 hours, proceed to Step 25 the next day. If you fail on any step, start over the next day on Step 01.
low dose aspirin



Step 25. Don't kill, hunt, purchase, or eat doves.
This step includes all previous steps except the movie steps. After successfully completing Step 25 for 24 hours, proceed to Step 26 the next day. If you fail on any step, start over the next day on Step 01.
dove



Step 26. Think blueberry. Eat and/or drink them every day.
Blueberries can be dried, frozen and fresh. They are found in certain fruit juice drinks, yogurt, granola bars, jam, syrup, bagels, breakfast cereal, chocolate, eggo waffles, and more. Bilberries, or products containing them, also satisfy this requirement. If you miss a day without ingesting any, you'll have to start the diet over from the beginning. Think blueberry. This step includes all previous steps except the movie steps. After successfully completing Step 26 for 24 hours, proceed to Step 27 the next day. If you fail on any step, start over the next day on Step 01.
blueberries

cranberry blueberry drink

bilberry capsules

blueberries



Step 27. Don't kill, buy, or eat orange roughy.
If you catch an orange roughy when fishing, take a picture and let it go. This step includes all previous steps except the movie steps. After successfully completing Step 27 for 24 hours, proceed to Step 28 the next day. If you fail on any step, start over the next day on Step 01.
orange roughy

orange roughy



Step 28. Watch The Fifth Element.
When you reach this step you must watch the movie regardless of how many times you have seen it before. Touting an All-Star cast, "The Fifth Element" is a movie that doesn't really go anywhere, yet is entertaining enough to keep you watching for 127 minutes. This movie has an impressive cult following, and nobody knows why. It just does. Keep practicing the previous steps until you are able to watch it. If you own a Blu-Ray copy of this movie, Sony will upgrade you to an improved copy for free, since the first release wasn't really in high-def. This step includes all previous steps except the other movie steps. After successfully completing this Step, proceed to Step 29 the next day. If you fail on any step, start over the next day on Step 01 and when you get to Step 28 you don't have to watch the movie again.



Step 01 - Step 07

Step 08 - Step 14

Step 15 - Step 21

Step 29 - Step 35

Step 36 - Step 42

Step 43 - Step 49

Step 50 - Step 56

Step 57 - Step 63

Step 64 - Step 70

Step 71 - Step 77


ask mongo
mongo
Dear Mongo: After I switched to NutriBiotic Mango Melon deodorant, I found a $20 bill in my toaster. What a surprise that was.
Mongo: Cool !



Dear Mongo: I like to fry calamari in lemon, butter and garlic. You mean I can't do that anymore?
Mongo: No.



Dear Mongo: Is it okay to take an Advil or a Tylenol instead of the aspirin?
Mongo: No.





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